From his golden office, between two golf games and a raging tweet on the global plot against his hairstyle, Donald Trump has decided to punish the whole world. Tunisia, of course, does not escape it.
After the announcement of a new taxation on foreign imports, in particular those from countries which “do not buy enough American hamburgers”, our country finds itself faced with an existential dilemma: what to do against Trump?
Radical but necessary measure, we should decree a total embargo on the Netflix series. No more white nights in front of Breaking Bad or Stranger Things. We will be satisfied with the reruns of sitcoms from the 90s on Al Watania 2 … provided they are not American, of course.
Since Trump wants to impose taxes on us, let’s give him the same! Each Big Mac sold in Tunisia should be taxed up to 75 % to compensate for our future trade deficit. With a little luck, this will be the perfect opportunity to relaunch the Chapati industry! Except that the Big Macs do not sell in Tunisia.
A call to Elon Musk to colonize Mars?
Faced with the crisis, it is time to make a courageous decision: to leave this planet. We can therefore launch a strategic partnership with Elon Musk to send the Tunisians to Mars, where they would be safe from Trumpian taxes. Bonus: there would be no need for American visa to get there.
Since everything is a matter of business for him, we could negotiate. Offering Tunisian passport to Trump would allow him to escape American judicial inquiries. In exchange, he would grant us an exemption from taxes and make Djerba his new winter residence. The island would become the “Trump Resort” and we could even see a casino appear in the medina.
Let’s be honest, Tunisia cannot afford to respond to Trump’s economic whims. But after all, we have the experience of crises, and we know that sometimes only weapon is stronger than all American taxes, why not a stronger African Union?
